tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5586464881244963506.post2026417513383658515..comments2014-05-12T17:14:23.757-07:00Comments on David J. Nix Author Blog: ABNA Pitch Observations and AdviceDavid Nixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08815554648681704332noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5586464881244963506.post-64361295976782704182013-01-22T11:10:57.188-08:002013-01-22T11:10:57.188-08:00Excellent advice, I think, and thank you for shari...Excellent advice, I think, and thank you for sharing it. Also, I think your pitch is very strong.<br /><br />In the first paragraph, to sharpen it, I would think about making a few cuts: <br /><br />For eighteen-year-old Crissa, life as a caged display in a traveling freak show has no upside. People stare. They say terrible things. How ugly she is. How strangely she behaves. And worst of all, how much she resembles the brutish Humans who died long ago. But they come by thousands to hear her do what no other can do. Sing!<br /><br />Also, I'm not keen on the exclamation point.<br /><br />Many thanks for your insights.Carol Fromehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04746356396523603624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5586464881244963506.post-42929690554047804312013-01-18T20:51:39.193-08:002013-01-18T20:51:39.193-08:00This is a very stunning, riveting pitch. I do beli...This is a very stunning, riveting pitch. I do believe it will make it through the first round. You gave us needful things to keep in mind when writing our pitches. Thanks. RolandRoland D. Yeomanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00338410857990551352noreply@blogger.com